Why We Choose To Race

During the dull winter months, the intrepid members of the Byte Marks racing team - like most LeMons racers we're quite sure - enjoy loading up our Rigby rifles, strapping on our pith helmets, kissing our sweethearts goodbye and heading off on a good, old-fashioned, rum-soaked safari. Why there's nothing more exciting than traveling to a faraway, exotic country, trampling its lush undergrowth and peppering its wildlife with .416 calibre ammunition. I must say its an adventure most capital! This year, however, proved even more extraordinary than usual. Whilst a-hunt in the darkest, most penetrating recesses of seductive Africa, we lads came across a beast most terrifying. Almost as powerful as 70 horses, with the grip of nearly 28 enraged hairless cats and possessing the downforce of a rather decent-sized mob of meerkats, the team had unwittingly come in contact with that most illusive creature... the DAK-CAR-I!! Striped like a zebra, with the head of a turkey and the bone-chilling whoop of a wounded badger, the DAK-CAR-I arms itself only with the fowl stench emanating from its hind quarters. Well, like all strapping lads we knew we must trap this incredible specimen. So, to make a long story short, we tied Andrey's girlfriend, Faye, to a tribal alter, waited for the hapless DAK-CAR-I to fall madly in love with her, pumped the brute full of tranquilizer, shipped it to America in the hold of a tramp steamer, suffered a unfortunate setback at the Empire State Building and since have brought the magnificent DAK-CAR-I here for exhibition in the middle west. We do most sincerely hope you'll allow us to thrill you with DAK-CAR-I's symphony of unusual parts and indescribable odors.


With a most resounding "Huzzah!", yours sincerely,

The Byte Marks Expeditionary Society




Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Team Members' Sordid Past?



In an email to the team yesterday I brought forth the following concern...

"I'll be honest, I'm having trouble believing this is all actually happening because I haven't a) met Mr. K or b) seen this car. For all I know you guys are running a scam that will cost me a thousand dollars and leave me standing in the middle of a Joliet cornfield with nothing but racing shoes and an unknown car key."

Mr. K, the team member in question, replied with the attached photos. The inclusion of yesterday's newspaper casts some doubt about Mr. K's (if that is his real name) checkered past. I'm thinking driver for a Guatemalan kidnapping ring.


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