Why We Choose To Race

During the dull winter months, the intrepid members of the Byte Marks racing team - like most LeMons racers we're quite sure - enjoy loading up our Rigby rifles, strapping on our pith helmets, kissing our sweethearts goodbye and heading off on a good, old-fashioned, rum-soaked safari. Why there's nothing more exciting than traveling to a faraway, exotic country, trampling its lush undergrowth and peppering its wildlife with .416 calibre ammunition. I must say its an adventure most capital! This year, however, proved even more extraordinary than usual. Whilst a-hunt in the darkest, most penetrating recesses of seductive Africa, we lads came across a beast most terrifying. Almost as powerful as 70 horses, with the grip of nearly 28 enraged hairless cats and possessing the downforce of a rather decent-sized mob of meerkats, the team had unwittingly come in contact with that most illusive creature... the DAK-CAR-I!! Striped like a zebra, with the head of a turkey and the bone-chilling whoop of a wounded badger, the DAK-CAR-I arms itself only with the fowl stench emanating from its hind quarters. Well, like all strapping lads we knew we must trap this incredible specimen. So, to make a long story short, we tied Andrey's girlfriend, Faye, to a tribal alter, waited for the hapless DAK-CAR-I to fall madly in love with her, pumped the brute full of tranquilizer, shipped it to America in the hold of a tramp steamer, suffered a unfortunate setback at the Empire State Building and since have brought the magnificent DAK-CAR-I here for exhibition in the middle west. We do most sincerely hope you'll allow us to thrill you with DAK-CAR-I's symphony of unusual parts and indescribable odors.


With a most resounding "Huzzah!", yours sincerely,

The Byte Marks Expeditionary Society




Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Driving As Fast As You Can

Sunday, September 19th. Shortly after dawn. The rising sun does its damnedest to dry the large puddles draped luxuriously across an expansive parking lot. Men, many mustachioed, move silently at their tasks - registration, tech inspection, course layout, the sweeping away of peanut shells and discarded candy wrappers from Saturday night's automotive confection. For this morning we are at the racing complex in Joliet, Illinois. This morning the speedway, drag strip and dirt track, however, are eerily quiet. Today there will be no brightly clad and clamorous crowds. There will be no checkered flag or winner's circle or small-town beauty queens kissing oil-smeared cheeks. In this empty parking lot there will be only drivers pushing Miatas and Subarus and Corvettes and Mustangs through a course marked in cones against the cold, relentless sweep of a second hand. This, then, is SCCA Solo Autocross. And in the midst of this glamorless battle against time, heat, pressure and focus, three members of Byte Marks Racing ride in upon winged chariots - A4 and Mazda 6. They dutifully don their numbers, helmets and dangerous countenances. They deliberately check their tire pressure. They deftly apply brake and wheel and throttle. They gnash their teeth and steel their minds and drive their horses against that dragon whose deadly wingbeats are measured in thousands of a second and in the end...

...they didn't really do that well at all. But it was a lot of fun. Here are some pictures. And here are the results. Look for Josh Bell, Hoang Nguyen and Andrey Belomutskiy. You'll save time if you scroll right to the bottom. Ahem.

Until next time...
Posted by Josh at 7:17 PM

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)